Ben Chonzie – easy Munro? Errr, no! 1st Big Mountain of the Year.

In our ongoing quest to seek out the best big mountain rides in Scotland, Marky Mark and I found ourselves heading north a couple of weekends ago on a gloriously sunny winter’s morning for a ride up Ben Chonzie. If you believe what the guidebooks and internet forum users say, Chonzie is portrayed as a dreary affair with little to commend it other than it is a Munro. With neither grand corries nor soaring cliffs to offer, it’s very much the poor relation of surrounding mountains such as the Ben Lawyers massif or Ben Vorlich. Ever keen to see for ourselves what the mountain had to offer, a drive of just over an hour had taken us through the picturesque, well heeled village of Comrie and up into Glen Lednock. With map in hand, a short route was planned. A steady Land Rover track climb up to the lower plateau then a traverse following the fence line to the summit and returning via the lower peak above Glen Turret. It wouldn’t necessarily be the most exciting or challenging of routes but it was perfect for a shorter winter’s day. Well, that was the plan at least. Pistol Pete’s oft recounted tale of a club ride over the shoulder of the Ben and down into Glen Almond with obligatory snowball fight had piqued my curiosity for the area and today seemed as good a day as any.

You always forget something!

Rising steadily up the Glen and onto the shoulder of the mountain, the track was an easy to follow affair and offered nothing in the way of a technical challenge. As we gained height, the pockets of snow and ice became ever harder to negotiate until we had no option but to get off and shoulder the bikes for the steady ride up to the plateau. To be fair, walking wasn’t much slower than riding and as the accumulated well trodden snow and ice got deeper, walking was definitely the preferred option. Even with bikes on our back, we managed to put some distance on a couple of hill walkers who had set off before us and were now trailing behind. It was at this point as a walker coming down off the summit chatted to us that I had one of those moments of clarity when you realise the bit of kit you should have brought had been left on the hall table. Santa had been very thoughtful this year and gotten me a pair of short walking gaiters. Perfect for keeping the snow from dropping into my boots – perfect that is unless like me you were in a rush to get going and forgot them. Doh! Lesson No 1 of the day – always double check your pack.

Jeez! How windy?

Eventually cresting the plateau, the wind that had helped us up the track had turned up several notches and was now proving to be a major challenge. Turning into the wind, what should have been an easy spin across the wind blown snow covered top became a struggle where even pushing the bikes was hard going. Wherever we looked, narrow ribbons of singletrack could be found heading towards the summit. On a less windy day, they promised an easy but fun riding option but for today at least, they were merely a means of guiding us to the summit. On the crest above us, we could see several walkers adopting the bum sledge technique for getting of the mountain as we carried on. Behind them, a bank of thick cloud was coming in fast meaning a quick GPS fix and bearing stop was called for. As quickly as it came in, the bank of cloud would disappear but in these conditions, discretion was rapidly becoming the better part of valour. Pressing on, we reached the summit plateau with a mixture of both relief and acknowledgement that reaching the summit was going to be a tough affair. By now, as MWIS always say in their forecasts, we were experiencing “severe buffeting” which translates roughly into your bike acting like an unwieldy sail and even standing up is a challenge. The views to the north over Ben lawyers and to the south over Ben Vorlich and Stuc a Chroin were classic Scotland in Winter vistas but the howling wind meant options for soaking them up were limited.

With the ride now firmly in the walk with your bike category, Mark and I found ourselves tacking into the wind in the lee of the hill as we zig zagged to the summit. Short sections were ridden as the wind propelled us along until our front wheels planted in the inevitable deep patch of snow. It was exhilarating stuff but not quite what we had hoped for. Eventually, negotiating the ice rink that was the summit cairn, we finally got some shelter from the ever present gale and got blethering to a walker who had come up from Glen Turret. “How was the climb up?” I asked. “Not too windy!” was the response. Recognising that the return trip was going to be a tough affair, we conferred and decided to take the longer option to get down. With the avalanche risk low, although not the planned route, dropping down into Glen Turret offered a longer but easier means of return. Scoffing down on my hastily prepared turkey breast, melted cheese, sun dried tomato and Tabasco sauce bagel with a jelly baby chaser, neither of us lingered at the top for long.

Saddling up, the descent was a mix of rideable hard crusted, icy snow slope and deep soft drifts. It became a game of guess the snow patch as we made our way down ever ready for the front wheel drop / pitch forward and tumble down the snow that lay in wait for us. In one instance, Mark took a tumble only to see his jelly babies scatter to the four winds. Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! It was a cruel and bitter blow! As we descended, the wind eased making things a lot more enjoyable. The hard crusted snow got deeper and wetter as we dropped down into the gully that would take us to the trail along the shore of Glenn Turret. Meeting a couple of walkers on the way up, we couldn’t work out who was dafter. Them for going up into the howling wind in the mid afternoon or us for taking the bikes! Dropping down the gully, the trail was almost within touching distance but the combination of jumbled rocks and snow slowed us down. Finally reaching the track and meeting the walker we had chatted to at the top, we were glad to be back riding properly again. As it turned out, this was the walkers third attempt on the mountain in the last couple of weeks, the post New Year storm having blown him off the last time, so to speak!

On the road again

Spinning down the Glen, the sun made a welcome reappearance and was bathing the hills in a beautiful golden light which gave momentary distraction from the pain in my right foot which now felt like a block of ice. The lack of gaiters had meant the snow had seeped into my boots and melted resulting in that horrible feeling of numbness that precedes the hot aches. Garrr! Thankfully, the wind that had been so prominent on the summit was less evident as we dropped down into the valley, dropping briefly to snap some photos by the Famous Grouse Distillery’s giant metal grouse. Even Frank MacAvennie couldn’t miss this burd! The seven mile ride back to Comrie on the road passed relatively easily though the sting was in the tail as we had to climb back to the car up Glen Lednock. Rising up through the tree line, we spotted multiple paths heading off on all directions to the likes of the Deil’s Cauldron that promised good things for a future ride. Clearing the tree line, however, the wind was back with vengeance making the last two and a half miles seem like much, much longer. It was a case of head down and grind and try and ignore the pain in our feet as best we could. Nearing the van, a car pulled up in front of us. It was the couple we had seen walking at the start of the day who had only just come off the hill themselves. Clearly, the return leg had been a serious challenge for them too meaning our escape plan had proven the right option even though neither of us was quite sure at the time. Finally reaching the van not a moment too soon, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten changed so quickly. It’s the little things like warm and dry socks that you don’t normally appreciate that assume an elevated sense of importance. It had been a true winter epic. Genuinely tough but enjoyable in the sense that we got to ride somewhere new and saw trails that made us decide that we would definitely be making a return trip to explore some more in the Spring.

Driving back the 4 miles into Comrie, the chip shop that we had spied on the way up on our bikes was our port of call. Fish suppers and bottles of coke may not be the elite athlete training option but for us at least, they were the perfect post ride face stuffer.

Getting back to civilisation (well, Glasgow, at least), I decided to check MWIS for the area having relied on an alternative mountain forecast. What the latter had failed to mention was that the predicted 25 mph winds were in fact 80 – 90 mph affairs with severe gusting. Lesson No 2 of the day – don’t rely on any forecast other than MWIS!

Postcript

So is Chonzie worth doing? Abso-fecking-lutely! On a Spring day, it would be a lovely ride and great introduction to Munro riding. Navigation is easy, the trails are obvious and you start at a good height. For Mark and I, a return trip is already on the cards.